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beth writing 30 days without

FIC - Blood Fire, PG-13, (Ficlet)

Title:  Blood Fire
Rating:  PG 13 just to be safe
Character:  Nick
Words:  340
Tag for Episode 1 - 17, "Love Sick"

Author's Note/Summary - My first venture into Grimm fic.  Just a short ficlet.  I was intrigued by Nick's reaction after his encounter with Adalind.

Blood Fire

An unearthly rage had seared through him when he had seen Hank, helpless, dying.  The emotion shredding his reserve was ragged, uncontrollable and totally foreign.  Some small, still rational part of his conscience wondered if this was how Aunt Marie felt right before she killed, mindless, overwhelmed by the same blood lust that burned in his very veins.  A single shot between her eyes would have been so damn simple. He had been prepared, no eager, to do exactly that. 

It would have been easy to simply shoot her.

It would have been so much easier had she simply died. 

He could have lived with her death.  In time, he could even justify killing her.  She had entrapped Hank with her insidious potions, playing his emotions, sucking him in.  Had she died she would have been gone and all he need remember was the foul, half rotten image of the hexenbeast. 

But he knew he would ever forget the look in her not dead eyes.  The absolute horror when she realized she was no longer Wesen, no longer powerful, no longer to be feared.  He would have preferred her dead to what he had unwittingly created.  He had seen that look before - glassy eyed, traumatized, violated.  He had seen that look before on the face of a young rape victim, one of the first cases he worked for the Portland PD.  As Adalind stumbled away from him, in shock, his blood still smeared across her face, he made no move to stop her. He had accomplished what he needed to save Hank.  

Why then did his guts churn with self loathing?  Because he was no better than she had been?  No better than the Grimm in all the Wesen bed time stories told to frighten little ones into good behavior?  Or because what he had done was worse than simple murder?  He had forced himself on her and through his actions she had become the as much the victim as Hank.  And for that he felt a deep and abiding shame.